Individual Adult Psychotherapy
The course and emphasis of psychotherapy is different depending on the presenting problems, needs, and psychological organization of each person. In general, however, I believe there are three essential components to effective therapy.
The first is developmental insight. For the most part, we are the sum total of our relational history. Therefore, we need to understand the forces that have shaped us as individuals in order to understand how we developed our experience of ourselves (i.e., self-beliefs and self-esteem). We need know the source of our painful feelings and symptoms. Finally, we need to understand where the difficulties in our lives and with other people are emerging from. Developmental insight is essential in the process of separating the past from the present. When we know the origin of our struggles, in a more psychologically informed way and how we had to adapt to navigate childhood, we begin to see that we have a choice to function differently in the present.
The second dimension psychotherapy is the integration of painfuI feelings. None of us develop as humans without unmet needs and injuries in varying degrees. Parents who are inadvertently not attuned to the needs of their children or cause injury, are not likely going to be able to help their children integrate the painful feelings that result; including those from outside stressors or trauma. Integration involves being able to identify the different feelings, hold them, and express these feelings. These steps lead to the assimilation of our feelings into a self-regulatory state where they are not reactive, out of control or being suppressed. Emotional self-regulation is a necessary component of psychological health and maturity.
The third dimension of therapy is experiential learning. As we understand how we were shaped as individuals and integrate the painful feelings from the past, there is one final step to help us see that our world is not the same as as our family and other impactful relationships growing up. This step is through behavioral experimentation with new behaviors, both in and outside the therapy session. With successful experiments, the beliefs we have long held about the world begin to dissolve, paving the way for enduring change. This is not to say that we will not encounter new or repetitive painful experiences going forward. Through successful experimentation, however, we also see that we are no longer the children we once were. We have the fresh and empowering experience that we can respond with more understanding, perspective, strength, and effectiveness in the face of life’s inevitable stressors, conflicts, adversity and, disappointments.
The outcome of effective psychotherapy is that individuals will function without debilitating symptoms, persistent painful feelings, and without negative self-experience/self-esteem. We will find ourselves becoming stronger, more focused, and expansive as individuals. We will have greater confidence and ability to develop and pursue personal goals and dreams. We will also have a greater capacity to form quality friendships and intimate relationships. Finally, we will feel more joy and contentment in living.